Comparison Starts Young
Starting at a very young age, we begin comparing ourselves to others. My daughter started talking about what her friends are wearing and wanted to wear clothing similar to them when she was 4 years old. My son, often talks about his school work by comparing his work to others. We compare our hair, our clothes, our income, our values, our likes and dislikes, and the list goes on.
In an article about teaching our kids about comparison, Abigail Dodds says, “Leading our comparisons in the right direction — away from envy, pride, covetousness, and self-pity, and toward Christlike imitation and the fear of God — will turn us into better parents, mentors, and friends.” I appreciate this perspective in a world where comparison is everywhere.
Comparing our Looks
Comparison can become a source of wallowing or boasting quickly especially when it comes to our weight, diet, exercise and/or health. We almost automatically compare our journey with someone else’s. Pastor John Piper says, “Comparison is either boasting or wallowing, neither or which are helpful.” Comparing ourselves will always result in failure somehow. We will either become prideful and think we are a little too awesome, or we will throw ourselves a pity party. To fight comparison, we must first recognize it. Once we recognize this comparison, we can start to fight it.
What does God Say?
God talks a lot about boasting in the bible. Psalm 94:4 talks about the evildoers boasting. Proverbs 27:1 warns about not boasting about tomorrow, “for you do not know what a day may bring.” And Romans 2:23 tells us that those who boast in the law dishonor God. Finally, with the warnings about boasting, God gives wonderful instruction about what we should boast in, HIM (1 Corinthians 1:31). Psalm 34:2 says”My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad.” Let us continually boast in the Lord alone as we seek to glorify Him in our journey.
Inner Beauty
What does God say is beautiful? 1 Peter 3:3-4 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” God admires a gentle and quiet spirit. Even dictionary.com has a definition that is not based on outward appearance. Beauty is defined as “an individually pleasing quality, grace, or charm.” Of course, recognizing that inner beauty is far more important, doesn’t mean abandoning healthy habits. On the contrary, it means continuing to make healthy choices because we are loved, and because we were made to serve.
Inner beauty also involves growing in the fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” When we focus on the work God is doing within us, it is less tempting to focus on our outward appearance. Are you joyful? Peaceful? Self-controlled? Do you want more of these qualities? Pray to God and ask for them!
Fighting Comparison in Our Journey
There are a couple of practical things you can do to fight comparison when it comes to what you look like, your health, nutrition etc.
- Biblical Self-talk: Memorize key verses to encourage your heart.
- Remind yourself of truth: “I am working to take care of this body the best I can, and I know that effort is pleasing to God.”
- Focus on inner beauty: Remember what God says is beautiful. See above.
- Find ways to embrace how God made you! Write down 2-3 things about yourself and thank God for how he made you. Just as you are. Right now.
Encouragement for Today
Fighting comparison can be challenging, but the rewards can be amazing! When we are able to let go and stop comparing ourselves to others, we find joy and peace in who God created us to be. “May the Lord give strength to his people! May the LORD bless his people with peace.” Psalm 29:11.
Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. May not copy or download more than 500 consecutive verses of the ESV Bible or more than one half of any book of the ESV Bible.
